Hey Sel.
I made you something.
A Brief Engineering Analysis
PROJECT:
Valentine's Day Proposal
ENGINEER:
Oliver H.
DATE: 14.02.2026
REV: 01
STATUS: PENDING APPROVAL
Abstract
This document presents compelling evidence for a Valentine's Day partnership between the undersigned and one Selma [REDACTED]. Findings are based on extensive field research, one extraordinary first kiss (ref: Feb 7, 2026), and a growing body of empirical data suggesting high mutual compatibility.
Exhibit A: The Evidence
What I Like About You
3.1
Exceptional Intelligence
Subject demonstrates consistently high cognitive ability across multiple domains. Technical assessment: so freaking smart. The kind of smart where I catch myself just listening because I genuinely want to hear what she thinks.
3.2
Direct Communication Protocol
She tells me what she wants. I listen. Because she's always right. This saves approximately 400% of the time typically lost to guessing games. Efficiency rating: unmatched.
3.3
Humor Index
Sense of humor rated 9.8 / 10 by independent review panel (n=1, the reviewer is me). The 0.2 deduction is to maintain scientific credibility. Actual score is probably higher.
3.4
Visual Assessment [CRITICAL FINDING]
Cute in glasses. Especially when she looks up. This is not a subjective opinion; it is a measured fact. See supporting evidence below.
exhibit A.4 -- the look
3.5
Ambulatory Compatibility
Walking with her feels like an adventure. Every walk. Even short ones. The destination is irrelevant when the company is this good.
3.6
The Way She Looks at Me
No technical description available. Some things can't be engineered.
Compatibility Matrix
Her Favorites vs. Oliver's Readiness
Color
Turquoise
"Built you this whole website in it."
Flowers
Tulips
"Noted. (Look around.)"
Artist
Bruno Mars
"'Just The Way You Are' is stuck in my head."
Vacation
Trieste
"I'll carry the bags."
Drink
Caramel macchiato (Lidl)
"Lidl run: anytime."
Also Drink
Matcha
"I'll learn the whisking technique."
Pasta
Rigatoni
"Will learn to cook it."
Cake
Chocolate mint
"Will ask your mom for the recipe."
Ice Cream
Also chocolate mint
"A woman of consistency."
Nature
Yes, all of it
"More walks. See 3.5."
Appendix A: Supplementary Material
Per your repeated requests, enclosed please find one (1) bicep.
Structural integrity: confirmed. Bite resistance: untested. Recommended action: empirical testing required.
"(Seriously though, the offer stands.)"
Terms & Conditions
The Dynamic
I. You're in charge. (As established.)
II. I'll listen. (Because you're awesome.)
III. The cage thing is... negotiable.
IV. Actually, no. You decide. See clause I.
Selma,
I know it hasn't been long. But I already know I like the way things are going. I like how easy it is to talk to you, how I feel when you're around, and how you somehow make even a walk to the store feel like something worth remembering.
Will you be my Valentine?